Friday, January 20, 2012

Republican Values Based on Presidential Debates

I have abstracted these values from listening to the Republican Presidential debates.

1. Each person is entirely on his own, including children, and is entitled only to what income s/he has personally obtained through inheritance, earned through personal work (which is tough  when you're 5), profits from others' work via business ownership, or through gambling on wall street hedge funds.

2. No governmental agency, local, state, or federal,  has any right to demand any potion of such income for the common good, in the form of taxes.  No one had any obligation to contribute to the common good. None.

3. It is entirely appropriate to shelter as much of one's money as possible in off shore banks to avoid paying taxes to the country in which s/he is a citizen.

3. Children have a right to only the most rudimentary public education as might be provided in a developing country.  If their parents want a better education they should pay for it themselves. 

4. Public Schools must teach Evangelical religion and the entire curriculum, including science, must be consistent with these beliefs. If some parents disapprove they can pay for a private school.

5. Poor people, racial and ethnic minorities, elderly people, people with disabilities and college students are free to vote within very limited time slots, and with fewer voting stations than affluent White suburban people, so long as they bring a birth certificate, state issued ID, and proof of residence and are able to stand in line for hours waiting to vote, despite  their age or disability.  If they can't stand in line that long, tough.   If they don't have a birth certificate or can't get to a drivers license office to get an ID, too bad. That's their problem. Suck it up.

6. Labor unions should be illegal.  Workers are lucky to have a job and should stop whining.

7. Sex is filthy unless it is for having babies or undertaken by Republicans.  Private Sexual behavior of democratic officials or candidates is disgusting and  must be made public in excruciating  detail, and the individuals involved prosecuted or at least persecuted.  Outrageously distasteful sexual conduct of Republicans is sacrosanct and beyond discussion.

8. Discrimination based on sex, race,  ethnicity, religion, age, disability, or sexual orientation, is up to the judgement of each individual Republican.

9. The United Nations and other  International organizations are unconstitutional and any president who signs such an agreement should be impeached or hung.

10. Likud, Kadima and ultra-orthodox Israelis should be accorded US citizenship and be honorary members of the Republican Party.

11. People  who are not of Northern  European heritage cannot be trusted.

12. Corporations are people and have the same rights as people, but none of the obligations.

13. It is appropriate for corporations to own Presidents, members of Congress, and Federal Judges, including the members of the Supreme Court.

14. Like we said before, sex iis really dirty, which is why we are so thrilled with it.

If you don't agree with these values you are without a doubt, an atheistic, communist trans-sexual, facist, Muslim, Hippie, totalitarian and should be jailed in a secret prison in Turkey, beaten by guards, water boarded, then deported to North Korea.  Have a nice day

No comments:

Post a Comment